Prez Day (Second Valentime’s Day)
Damn ya’ll, love is like some wild ass dream. You’re like, I want to have that dream again, can’t believe I was on that mountain…doing that cool thing. McDonald’s 10 piece nugget combo is a lot like true ass love. It’s only right to share that with ya girl for second dinner on second Valentime’s Day. Yeah, I’m talking about stroking a nugg and feeling on that dunk on Prez Day. Look, I’ve been wining and dining fine dime slam pieces since I was a lil nugget myself. Yeah, taking bitches to see 27 Dresses, AT NIGHT. I also know how to get deals. If you want to avoid expensive ass restaurants and flowers that are more than $10, Prez Day is the day to celebrate true ass love. Straight up, the stars aligned this year and President’s Day came three days after V-Day, just long enough for your girl to be not that angry that you’re celebrating V-Day three days after V-Day.
On V-Day for real I strolled into the crib, my babygirl was like “where’s my flowers and candy, did you get a reservation for that half expensive restaurant I wanted to go to!?!?”. I’m like, “How long have you been in this parking garage waiting for me to get home…? and no we watching a CBS sitcom and ending this night in a few minutes of missionary.” Her mind was like “you a roller rinking, cheap skate ass nigga” but her body was like “the deals that will be had by celebrating our true ass love on Prez Day got my pussy soaking”. Ha, yeah that’s what I thought girl. We shared some laughs to a CBS sitcom and gave each other handys into the wee hours of 11:15pm. V-Day for real success.
So look, this is what I had planned for Prez Day, AKA second Valentime’s Day. Hit that matinee of The Lego Movie followed by brunch for dinner that has eggs for like $7, end the night with nuggs for second dinner and some passionate hate sex. Leggoooo (see what I did there ;) ) I woke up on Prez Day at 7:45am and was like “babygirl you better get up, we gotta catch a 2 hour bus ride to that cinema where my boy Kevin works only on Mondays and Thursdays to see if he can get us in for free”. She was like “why don’t we take the car”. I was like “You know that gas money is going to that $7 egg brunch, chill”. That 2 hour bus ride was like dipping through the canals of Venice. Holding hands, only slightly obscured scenic views, and hobos spitting straight poetry to my babygirl like “you look delicious”. You couldn’t pay for an experience like that. But if you did, it would be $1.50.
We got to that theater, my boy Kevin at the box office offering tickets like burgers straight off the George Foreman, and I’m talking about the real George Foreman…not the indoor grilling system…you know his body.
“Yo dog I want to get in to that Lego Movie for 2 for free.”
“The best I can do is a children’s ticket for $5.”
“Make it rain Kev.”
Tickets $10, a small popcorn for like $3.50 and a pack of goobers I left in my back pocket, for FREE. Yeah, that shit had melted, but you know what didn’t melt, making FUCKING deals. We laughed, cried and savored that popcorn cause we used up the re-fill during the previews. Yo, go see that Lego Movie. I’m not even going tell you how good it is, cause it’s that damn good.
No time to enjoy the visually appealing credits, we gotta catch a 37 minute bus ride to get those $7 eggs. Deuces Kev, you a deal saving warrior who I’d follow straight to hell. Overpriced hell. Yo, I splurged on my girl for brunch. $7 eggs, extra sides of sausage and coffee you pay for. We was balling out like some spoiled ass débutantes. For a moment she forgot we were celebrating V-Day on Prez Day. Don’t get it twisted ya’ll if The Lego Movie was the meat and cheese plate of this date we call Prez Day, and brunch is that warm appetizer then that main course is 10 piece nuggs at 1133 North La Brea Ave.
Yo, you strole up to this place and that hamburger boy or whatever it is, straight beaming like it should be on the Vegas strip. If you’re lucky enough to go inside and it’s not drive-thru only for people half drunk driving wanting nuggs, shit is gorgeous. It’s like you’re at a Brazilian themed night club with the lights up, after they cleaned up all the spilt Goose and bodily fluids. Pastel colored walls, glassed ceilings even foliage ya’ll. Should of brought a machete to this bitch, didn’t know this nugg run was going to turn into some Amazonian adventure type shit.
These McDonalds peeps is on that serious grind. They got four dudes and an old frail Mexican woman working straight 36 hours. And they don’t leave till all of them pass out. For real, someone will have to take these peeps out on a stretcher to keep them from handing out tasty ass meals. On some Gladiator starring Russell Crowe type shit. Keep up the good work.
Ain’t no foreplay for this shit ya’ll. My babygirl and me ain’t even home and we snatching up fries and licking on nuggs before we even back at the crib. We got just enough left to feast through a CBS sitcom. Yeah, straight 22 minutes plus commercials. I’m knocking back nuggs and pouring my babygirl and me a half drank bottle of Moscato just like she like. This bound to end in a few minutes of missionary. Happy Prez Day ya’ll. Deuces.